Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

The Artisan, by Dyal Bailey


The Artisan, by Dyal Bailey
Warning: This thriller novel is filled with instances of dark and irreverent humor and purposefully pokes fun at things that are generally taken seriously.

Also, if you are someone who might be offended by an asexual, Machiavellian villain or a charming, metrosexual, serial-killer-like assassin, this is definitely not the best book for you.

On the other hand, if you crave intricately woven plots with humor, mystery, and suspense at their best, a kindle and paperback thriller book with 2014 panache, and over-the-top mystery, then you will love this newly released thriller by one of the most unique debut novelists of all time.

Here are the main players in our deliciously deadly game:

Dr. Rafaela Ramos - She's beautiful. She's the CIA's biochemical assassin. She thinks she’s untouchable.
Antonio Peloso - He's as bushy and hair-sprinkled as he is eccentric. Will his brilliant mind and Werther algorithm trap the much sought after Rafaela at last?
Gunter - The camera loves him almost as much as he nurtures and adores his razor sharp knives. Resplendently dressed in carefully sewn sequins, he pirouettes on video over his awestruck victims, while paving the way for Antonio's diabolical plan.

The Story:

Beautiful biochemical assassin, Rafaela, works for the CIA making untraceable hits, wherein she infects targets with viruses that cause "natural" deaths. Burnt out, she decides to take a few days off to help a fellow scientist do the more meaningful biochemistry she longs to someday embrace.

Little does she know, her colleague is unwittingly being used as bait. His request for her help is step one in luring her straight into a deadly web. And although she thinks she's impervious to being made vulnerable in any way, she arrives on her seemingly innocuous vacation and soon falls in love! By the time she realizes this strike of Cupid's arrow is part two in the evil design of her sadistic nemesis—it's already too late.

An Excerpt:

Scanning her peripheral, Rafaela shook his hand with a firm grip.

"I'm Dickinson."

"Of course you are," she answered flatly. She watched his short, jerky movements as he popped several peppermints into his mouth. With a wandering gaze, she followed him outside to a cluster of trees. "What seems to be the problem? The ambassador is dead, isn’t he?" She picked at a piece of lint on her sleeve.

"Yes, but the virus spread to our man, the chauffeur, and he hasn’t stopped vomiting." Clumsily, he crammed the roll of mints back into the pocket of his understated, navy blazer.

She ran her thumb across one of the fingers on her left hand and studied her manicure. “Are you actually concerned that he’s going to die?”

His voice wavered. “No, no. Of course not. You are very good at what you do.”

“Then what seems to be the problem?” She took aim and kicked a tree root with her heel. She would have liked to kick the man in the teeth.

“Mr. Bailey would like to know why your little experiments have to be so remarkably contagious.” He shifted his weight from his left foot to his right.

“He didn't mind them being contagious when they sterilized that family of terrorists.” She moved in his direction.

Sensing her aggression, he took a nervous step away. “Mr. Bailey is not ungrateful, Doctor.”

“I’m glad to hear it. Anything else?” She continued to stare at him with piercing eyes.

Dickinson fumbled to pull out another mint. “Yes.”

About the Author
Dyal Bailey
Three-year-old Dyal Bailey was sent home early from pre-school for reading aloud the picture book "How Babies Are Made" to her formerly uninformed classmates. This seemed to confirm her suspicion that books were powerful and reading them would give her access to that power.

As a teenager, she consumed two to three large bags of books every week, and although her mother supported her habit, Dyal was often in trouble for not answering her call to dinner. So consumed by what she was reading, the book had to be physically yanked from her hands before she would become alert and return to reality.

Having gobbled up books in every genre by the time she was a freshman at the University of Florida, she decided to sign up for a writing class. Sadly, her grandmother died and the funeral caused her to miss her first two classes. When she did appear, her professor had apparently experienced far too many dead grandmothers, and kicked her out of the class. But, as providence would have it, a sister in her (newly pledged) Chi Omega sorority saw Dyal crying in the hallway, and sent her to the university's Greek advisor for reassurance and class reassignment.

The advisor couldn't squeeze her into another writing class, but he did approve her transfer into "Opera Appreciation" with an older, yet enthusiastic professor. After the first notes of Bizet's Toreador Song came throbbing from his over-used speakers, she was hooked for life. Although she never did make it back into a college writing class, she continued to scribble her mental ramblings onto a plethora of notebooks.

It wasn't until the birth of the first son that she decided to take up writing seriously. Rather than sit in a classroom, she read forty-two books on creative writing and subscribed to Writer's Digest magazine. An encouraging article in that first issue suggested a good place to begin was by writing for trade and business magazines. This sounded wonderful.

She and her husband had for many years owned a successful restaurant, so she sat down and in a few hours wrote an article called "What Makes a Great Bartender". With little hope, but great alacrity, she sent it off to three different magazines.

And they all said yes!

Her writing journey continued from journalism to editing a newspaper, completing two novels, writing a humor column, publishing a humor book, and finally, screenwriting.

Soon discerning the chaff from the grain in that industry, she discovered Craig Kellem, script consultant extraordinaire. Craig and his daughter Judy Kellem taught Dyal how to master the screenplay form. She wrote three award-winning scripts in a year and a half.

Then something kept bugging her about one of her thriller screenplays. There were problems in the plot, but she couldn't sort them out for herself. Thankfully, she'd become friends with producer and screenwriter Paul J. Salamoff in Hollywood and asked him to help her out. He did and the finished product was amazing.

But Paul wasn't satisfied.

Calling her one day, he said, "This needs to be a novel. It reads like a novel. There's just so much there. And your title isn't quite right."

Dyal agreed.

So Paul came up with the new name "The Artisan" and six months later, the first book in Dyal's Artistic Assassin Series was completed and published.

Dyal and her husband Craig (with the five of their seven children who are still at home) live on Thurmond Lake near Augusta, Georgia. When she isn't handling the marketing for their two oyster bars, she enjoys traveling abroad, and reading anything and everything on her Kindle.

For More Info
Website

BUY THE BOOK
Amazon

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Baby Limericks: Pregnancy and Baby-Themed Riddle Rhymes for New and Expectant Parents, and the People Who Love Them, by D. Young Barton


Baby Limericks, by D. Young Barton
Looking for some unique quizzes for a baby shower? Do you need a gift for puzzle loving new parents? This book of over fifty limerick riddles is a fun way to look at many of the normal items and occurrences that come with growing and raising babies. An example to try and guess:

Your baby will eat when they’re able
Alongside you all at the table
This seat’s extra tall
So he can see all
While strapped in so he’s extra stable

These poems can be entertaining, or a chance to keep your sleep-deprived brain sharp when you're doing the midnight feeding. (The answer is high chair).


For More Info
Twitter

BUY THE BOOK
Amazon


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Beautiful Things and How to Ignore Them, by Sam Kuban


Beautiful Things and How to Ignore Them, by Sam Kuban
This collection of poems details the demise of thirteen townspeople, all of whom are as unpleasant and undesirable as the death through which they suffer. If you are loving, hopeful, calm, and happy, and are looking for a read that will reflect any one of those qualities, then this book is most definitely not for you. Continue your browse. However, if you find it soothing to laugh at the misfortune, embarrassment, and humiliation of others, and if you chuckle at the thought of unjustified death, then this book might put a smirk on your cheek.



About the Author
Sam Kuban
Sam Kuban resides in Evansville, Indiana. He is most known for writing the book "Beautiful Things and How to Ignore Them." This collection of poems can be placed in the comedy/horror genre and can be compared to writings by Edward Gorey or Roald Dahl. He is a multi-instrumentalst, and has recorded music based on the characters in from this book under the name "Lead and Lye." While he thoroughly enjoys writing, he recently graduated from the University of Southern Indiana with a degree in Interactive Media Design.

For More Info
Twitter

BUY THE BOOK
Amazon | B&N | Book Baby

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A Thousand Tiny Failures: Memoirs of a Pickup Artist, by Tony D


A Thousand Tiny Failures: Memoirs of a Pickup Artist, by Tony D
Sebastian had man-boobs, and life was a bummer...until he got surgery and discovered an online community of Pickup Artists. Moving to Montreal, he stumbles into a world of parties, sex, drugs, and drama - only to emerge with a new, but questionable understanding of himself, women, and the human condition.

What compels a man to relentlessly flirt for sport, and at what cost?

Part instruction manual, part hipster-Unicorn sexual adventure story, A Thousand Tiny Failures is a hilarious and insightful novel, for men who want to improve, and women who want to understand.

***Contains adult content***

About the Author
Tony D
Tony was created in 1978 when his father inseminated his mother in an undisclosed location in Canada. He then published his first book, "A Thousand Tiny Failures - Memoirs of a Pickup Artist," and then a short self-help book, "I Hope it's Sunny Out - A Guide For Meeting Girls in the Day Time."

That's it. Nothing else happened.

Tony likes guitars, travel, reading, flirting, writing, and smart people.

He currently lives in Vancouver BC and travels extensively as a dating coach for his company, AbsoluteAbility.com

For More Info
Website | Twitter

BUY THE BOOK
Amazon

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Lady Justice and the Organ Traders, by Robert Thornhill


***Free Kindle Download May 4-8, 2014***

A badly burned body with a fresh incision and a missing kidney leads Walt into the clandestine world of an organ trader ring that has set up shop in Kansas City. Walt is determined to bring to justice the bootleggers, who purchase body parts from the disadvantaged and sell them to people with means, until a relative from Maggie’s past turns up needing a kidney to survive.

Once again, Walt discovers that very little in his world is black and white.

Reviewed by Lee Ashford for Readers' Favorite.

"Lady Justice and the Organ Traders" by Robert Thornhill is not about musical instruments. An organized and sophisticated illegal kidney transplant operation has been active in Kansas City for an unknown period of time.

It came to the attention of our old friend, Walt Williams, when one of his tenants was found dead inside a burned out car. Due to a fortuitously quick response time, the Fire Department was able to extinguish the fire before the body was completely burned up. The Coroner determined that the victim was missing a recently-removed kidney.

Shortly thereafter a body disappeared from the morgue, leading the FBI to get involved in the investigation. Walt and his partner, Ox, are thrust into the forefront of a plan to break up the ring of organ traders, in another exciting, action-packed adventure of the "Lady Justice" series.

"Lady Justice and the Organ Traders" is the latest in a long line of superbly written comedic mysteries. Mr. Thornhill circumspectly addresses the subject of buying and selling body parts, presenting both sides of a practice considered immoral by many. As with so many other topics, the distinction between right and wrong is blurred.

Ride along with Walt Williams as he witnesses firsthand the good, the bad, and the ugly of organ trading. This story will bring a tear to your eye. "Lady Justice and the Organ Traders" is a worthy addition to the "Lady Justice" series. I urge all to read this book, but any book in the series will get you hooked on the escapades of Walt Williams and the City Retiree Action Patrol. What are you waiting for?

About the Author
Award-winning author, Robert Thornhill, began writing at the age of sixty-six and in four short years has penned fifteen novels in the Lady Justice mystery/comedy series, the seven volume Rainbow Road series of chapter books for children, a cookbook and a mini-autobiography.

Lady Justice and the Sting, Lady Justice and Dr. Death, Lady Justice and the Vigilante, Lady Justice and the Candidate, Lady Justice and the Book Club Murders and Lady Justice and the Cruise Ship Murders won the Pinnacle Award for the best new mystery novels of Fall 2011, Winter 2012, Summer 2012, Fall of 2012, Spring of 2013 and Summer of 2013 from the National Association of Book Entrepreneurs.

Many of Walt's adventures in the Lady Justice series are anecdotal and based on Robert's real life.

Although Robert holds a master's in psychology, he has never taken a course in writing and has never learned to type. All 25 of his published books were typed with one finger and a thumb!

His wit and insight come from his varied occupations, including thirty-three years as a real estate broker. He lives with his wife, Peg, in Independence, Missouri.

For More Info
Website: http://BooksByBob.com
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/booksbybob

BUY THE BOOK
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Justice-Organ-Traders-Robert-Thornhill-ebook/dp/B00IXYJ0C4/ref=pd_sim_kstore_4?ie=UTF8&refRID=19FWY8NV135F616D5BD3

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69 Shades of Green: 7 Days in Heaven, by John Westley


American professional golfer Dan Green rolls into Heaven, BC in his beat up Corolla. He’s got sandwiches on the front seat, clothes on the back seat, and clubs in the trunk ready to test his re-built golf swing at the Husky Open. Sparks fly when he meets Melissa – a woman of extraordinary beauty, irresistible charm, seductive prowess, and more than her fair share of skeletons.

***

American Dan Green begins his journey on the west coast of Canada in the surf town – yes, surf town – of Tofino, home to a golf guru who holds the answers to Dan’s ailing golf swing. His one month stay in Tofino renews faith in his game, and holds a cathartic quality as he sheds the darkness of a marriage gone bad that had refused to let go.

With a cocky swing and a clear head Dan heads east, toward the tiny interior town of Heaven, BC, site of the inaugural Husky Open on the Canadian Tour. Without a position in the field Dan must “Monday-Qualify” in hopes of earning his way into the tournament and a shot at moving up the ranks of championship golf.

Already armed with a passion for golf, Dan rekindles a deeper passion he thought he’d lost when he is introduced to his new caddy, Melissa Jones. Intelligent, upbeat, and a physical beauty, Melissa sweeps Dan off his feet and into her home for the week when she learns he has nowhere to stay, and has resorted to sleeping in his car.

Behind closed doors the two develop an exciting relationship not generally known between golfer and caddy, and it appears to do no harm to Dan’s golf game or spirit. At least, not at first. But there are some skeletons in Melissa’s closet that come out to threaten more than Dan’s chances at winning a golf tournament. A mix of humor, erotica, and drama 69 Shades of Green will take you on a thrilling ride that will change the way you look at golf pants from here on in.

About the Author
John Westley is originally from Portland, Oregon and currently lives a very private life in Vancouver, British Columbia. A former golf professional, he has been writing in various formats for many years and still finds time for the occasional round of golf. "69 Shades of Green (7 Days in Heaven)" is his latest novel, and he is currently working on the sequel.

Connect With the Author on Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/john.westley.332

BUY THE BOOK
Amazon: http://amzn.to/1ipEwHc

Thornhill Press: http://thornhillpress.com/

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I'll Know You By Your Heart (Parts 1 and 2), by Toni DeMaio




Part 1
'Toni DeMaio is an impressive writer and storyteller whose imagination and creative spirit brings characters and dreams into vivid life. I'll Know You by Your Heart is a novel written with honesty and humor, where the search for meaning and direction come from unexpected places. This novel will make many a reader a believer in the afterlife.'

BUY THE BOOK
Amazon: http://amzn.to/1mLldbP

*****

Part 2
Do you believe in past lives? Sunny Harris became a believer when she discovered some of the people in her dreams of a life lived in the late seventeen hundreds had actually lived. In part 2 of her exciting story, both the amazing adventures of the past and present play out in a breathless, intertwining saga.

BUY THE BOOK
Amazon: http://amzn.to/1ryqDcd

About the Author 
"I'll Know You By Your Heart" is a true story in a novelization. Psychic since birth, I dreamed about a past life over many years and in researching the period I found it was a true story.

Follow the Author on Twitter
9https://www.twitter.com/DeMaioToni

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The Artisan: An Artistic Assassin Thriller, by Dyal Bailey


Warning: This thriller novel is filled with instances of dark and irreverent humor and purposefully pokes fun at things that are generally taken seriously.

Also, if you are someone who might be offended by an asexual, Machiavellian villain or a charming, metrosexual, serial-killer-like assassin, this is definitely not the best book for you.

On the other hand, if you crave intricately woven plots with humor, mystery, and suspense at their best, a kindle and paperback thriller book with 2014 panache, and over-the-top mystery, then you will love this newly released thriller by one of the most unique debut novelists of all time.

Here are the main players in our deliciously deadly game:

Dr. Rafaela Ramos - She's beautiful. She's the CIA's biochemical assassin. She thinks she’s untouchable.
Antonio Peloso - He's as bushy and hair-sprinkled as he is eccentric. Will his brilliant mind and Werther algorithm trap the much sought after Rafaela at last?
Gunter - The camera loves him almost as much as he nurtures and adores his razor sharp knives. Resplendently dressed in carefully sewn sequins, he pirouettes on video over his awestruck victims, while paving the way for Antonio's diabolical plan.

The Story:

Beautiful biochemical assassin, Rafaela, works for the CIA making untraceable hits, wherein she infects targets with viruses that cause "natural" deaths. Burnt out, she decides to take a few days off to help a fellow scientist do the more meaningful biochemistry she longs to someday embrace.

Little does she know, her colleague is unwittingly being used as bait. His request for her help is step one in luring her straight into a deadly web. And although she thinks she's impervious to being made vulnerable in any way, she arrives on her seemingly innocuous vacation and soon falls in love! By the time she realizes this strike of Cupid's arrow is part two in the evil design of her sadistic nemesis—it's already too late.

An Excerpt:

Scanning her peripheral, Rafaela shook his hand with a firm grip.

"I'm Dickinson."

"Of course you are," she answered flatly. She watched his short, jerky movements as he popped several peppermints into his mouth. With a wandering gaze, she followed him outside to a cluster of trees. "What seems to be the problem? The ambassador is dead, isn’t he?" She picked at a piece of lint on her sleeve.

"Yes, but the virus spread to our man, the chauffeur, and he hasn’t stopped vomiting." Clumsily, he crammed the roll of mints back into the pocket of his understated, navy blazer.

She ran her thumb across one of the fingers on her left hand and studied her manicure. “Are you actually concerned that he’s going to die?”

His voice wavered. “No, no. Of course not. You are very good at what you do.”

“Then what seems to be the problem?” She took aim and kicked a tree root with her heel. She would have liked to kick the man in the teeth.

“Mr. Bailey would like to know why your little experiments have to be so remarkably contagious.” He shifted his weight from his left foot to his right.

“He didn't mind them being contagious when they sterilized that family of terrorists.” She moved in his direction.

Sensing her aggression, he took a nervous step away. “Mr. Bailey is not ungrateful, Doctor.”

“I’m glad to hear it. Anything else?” She continued to stare at him with piercing eyes.

Dickinson fumbled to pull out another mint. “Yes.”

About the Author
Three-year-old Dyal Bailey was sent home early from pre-school for reading aloud the picture book "How Babies Are Made" to her formerly uninformed classmates. This seemed to confirm her suspicion that books were powerful and reading them would give her access to that power.

As a teenager, she consumed two to three large bags of books every week, and although her mother supported her habit, Dyal was often in trouble for not answering her call to dinner. So consumed by what she was reading, the book had to be physically yanked from her hands before she would become alert and return to reality.

Having gobbled up books in every genre by the time she was a freshman at the University of Florida, she decided to sign up for a writing class. Sadly, her grandmother died and the funeral caused her to miss her first two classes. When she did appear, her professor had apparently experienced far too many dead grandmothers, and kicked her out of the class. But, as providence would have it, a sister in her (newly pledged) Chi Omega sorority saw Dyal crying in the hallway, and sent her to the university's Greek advisor for reassurance and class reassignment.

The advisor couldn't squeeze her into another writing class, but he did approve her transfer into "Opera Appreciation" with an older, yet enthusiastic professor. After the first notes of Bizet's Toreador Song came throbbing from his over-used speakers, she was hooked for life. Although she never did make it back into a college writing class, she continued to scribble her mental ramblings onto a plethora of notebooks.

It wasn't until the birth of the first son that she decided to take up writing seriously. Rather than sit in a classroom, she read forty-two books on creative writing and subscribed to Writer's Digest magazine. An encouraging article in that first issue suggested a good place to begin was by writing for trade and business magazines. This sounded wonderful.

She and her husband had for many years owned a successful restaurant, so she sat down and in a few hours wrote an article called "What Makes a Great Bartender". With little hope, but great alacrity, she sent it off to three different magazines.

And they all said yes!

Her writing journey continued from journalism to editing a newspaper, completing two novels, writing a humor column, publishing a humor book, and finally, screenwriting.

Soon discerning the chaff from the grain in that industry, she discovered Craig Kellem, script consultant extraordinaire. Craig and his daughter Judy Kellem taught Dyal how to master the screenplay form. She wrote three award-winning scripts in a year and a half.

Then something kept bugging her about one of her thriller screenplays. There were problems in the plot, but she couldn't sort them out for herself. Thankfully, she'd become friends with producer and screenwriter Paul J. Salamoff in Hollywood and asked him to help her out. He did and the finished product was amazing.

But Paul wasn't satisfied.

Calling her one day, he said, "This needs to be a novel. It reads like a novel. There's just so much there. And your title isn't quite right."

Dyal agreed.

So Paul came up with the new name "The Artisan" and six months later, the first book in Dyal's Artistic Assassin Series was completed and published.

Dyal and her husband Craig (with the five of their seven children who are still at home) live on Thurmond Lake near Augusta, Georgia. When she isn't handling the marketing for their two oyster bars, she enjoys traveling abroad, and reading anything and everything on her Kindle.

BUY THE BOOK
Amazon Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/Artisan-Artistic-Assassin-Thriller-ebook/dp/B00JPOP7IW

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Official Book Video Trailer for My Life Without a Parachute, by Skye Taylor



Synopsis
A Collection of Short True Stories That Are Funny, Sad, Bizarre, and Spooky!

Synopsis
Skye Taylor’s love of comedy and his enjoyment for telling stories, have come to fruition in his first non-fiction writing; “My Life without a Parachute”. A book based on the true funny, sad, bizarre and spooky stories of his wife’s, as well as his wild and crazy life. Laugh out loud as Skye tells you about the crazy antics of his Mother-in-law or the hilarious “Mr. Meeps” an orange tabby his wife adopted for one day. Get spooked out from stories such as “The Grave” or the “Orb”! Take a trip into the Twilight Zone and enter the world of the bizarre with the story, “The Christmas Miracle”. Then take a journey down the bumpy road called sad, with the story of “The House Fire”. It’s all here plus much, much more in a roller coaster of emotions that will make you glad you’re not the author… Skye Taylor!


About the Author
Skye Taylor is a life achiever wearing many hats throughout his life, if nothing else, just to cover his huge bald spot. Skye is a world collected Artist and has won many awards for his paintings. His YouTube artist videos have over 1 million views and over 5,000 subscribers and growing. Skye has won awards in Music as well as his work in Animation. He helped produce and direct a Dog Show for cable television in the 80’s as well as operate the camera. Skye retired in his 20’s from a successful import Toy business he started. Skye’s love of comedy and his enjoyment for telling stories have come to fruition in his first non-fiction writing; “My Life without a Parachute”. A book based on the true funny, sad, bizarre and spooky stories of his wife’s, as well as his wild and crazy life. Skye’s wife is sick of being married to a clown. She keeps a knife by the side of her bed and threatens him daily. He sleeps with his hands on his crotch just in case. In his spare time, Skye enjoys cleaning the crap off of the toilet seat from his 97 year old father who lives with him. Skye plans to continue writing more books as he works to complete his bucket list. If all else fails, the bucket will be used as a camping porta-potty!

For More Info
Website: http://www.mylifewithoutaparachute.com/

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Romeo and Juliet for the Rest of Us, by Lori Mitchell



Synopsis
A witty, irreverent poke at Shakespeare's works. "Romeo and Juliet for the Rest of Us" explains Shakespeare with a touch of sarcasm while staying true to the interpretation.

BUY THE BOOK
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Romeo-Juliet-Rest-Us-Shakespeare-ebook/dp/B00JGB62PQ/

Smashwords: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/64722

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Ronstedt Village Fables, by Bill Freas


Synopsis
The "Ronstedt Village Fables" are considered to be some of the most timeless and entertaining folk tales ever to come from the pen of an author whose cousin’s nephew’s first grade substitute teacher’s ex-fiancé’s stalker’s pet field emu (1909-1922) inspired these fifty classic narratives. Parents and teachers across all eleven world continents have consistently referred back to these classic children’s stories as a means to instill in their pupils extremely unimportant and useless life lessons that will be carried with them for a lifetime in cat years, or in very stressful moments at most urban bus depots.

About the Author
Bill Freas is a writer and filmmaker based in his native town of Philadelphia, PA. Following a successful tenure as a professional musician, he transitioned back to his love of writing and quickly got involved in the literary, film, and television industries. Currently, he has various original film projects set up with a number of international production companies, as well as several works of fiction published by domestic literary entities.

"Like" the Author's Facebook Fan Page
https://www.facebook.com/ronstedtvillage

BUY THE BOOK
Amazon: http://amzn.to/1dXfP4U

Featured Book: Celibacy: What Was I Thinking?, by Tranea Prosser


We can all agree that sexual abstinence is becoming increasingly popular again in 2012 and the reason is that you can’t buy a cure for
AIDS or Sexually Transmitted Diseases over the counter at your local pharmacy!

"Celibacy: What Was I Thinking?" is an enlightening take on living a celibate lifestyle in this modern day era. The author, Tranea Prosser, uses her own life experiences to teach fundamental lessons and she explores reasons why sexual abstinence is not only the safest, but the smartest way to live a healthy lifestyle outside of marriage.

Using a variety of humorous situations, witty remarks, and idiomatic quips, "Celibacy: What Was I Thinking?" not only gives practical advice, but also lightens an otherwise hefty issue and makes for an entertaining read. Refreshingly authentic and beautifully inspiring, "Celibacy: What was I Thinking?" will make readers question their current lifestyles and empower them to make educated decisions in the future. Teenagers just beginning to explore their budding sexuality, religious followers who need encouragement to remain chaste, as well as widows and widowers who are now single will especially benefit from this book. However, anyone can doubtlessly find tidbits of information in Tranea Prosser's admonitions that will make them consider what celibacy is all about.

For More Info
Website: www.miztcomedy.com

Follow the Author on Twitter
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/MizTComedy

BUY THE BOOK
IBookstore: http://ibookstore.com/products.php?i=B00C8DEJJ0

Sony: https://ebookstore.sony.com/search?keyword=Tranea+Prosser

Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/Tranea-Prosser?keyword=Tranea+Prosser&store=ebook&iehack=%E2%98%A0

Kobo: http://www.kobobooks.com/search/search.html?q=Tranea+Prosser

Copia: http://www.thecopia.com/catalog/details.html?catId=14192743

Scribd: http://www.scribd.com/doc/134621682/Celibacy-What-Was-I-Thinking

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Celibacy-What-Was-I-Thinking-ebook/dp/B00C8DEJJ0/


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Kindle Spotlight: Hell Week

Hell Week
By: JT Sawyer

Get ready for a fresh take on the zombie genre when the SEALs fix their crosshairs on the undead and the unsavory. James Enroy, a former Navy SEAL, thinks he is the sole survivor left in L.A. after a bioweapon cripples humanity, turning the infected into pudding-faced zombies. A chance meeting with an old mentor and a young heroine brings the trio into a confrontation with a criminal kingpin who has turned the L.A. Zoo into a gladiator arena, pitting zombies against humans. This short story is the first in a series of post-apocalyptic books. Visit jtsawyer.com for more information.

About the Author:
JT Sawyer is the pen name for the author who makes his living teaching survival courses for the military special operations community, Department of Homeland Security, US Marshals, FAA, and other federal agencies throughout the US. He has over 25 years of experience testing long-term survival skills in the desert, mountains, and forest.

For More Info
Website: http://www.jtsawyer.com

BUY THE BOOK
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Hell-Week-JT-Sawyer-ebook/dp/B00ISASG0A/

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Kindle Spotlight: "The King of Game Trivia"

"The King of Game Trivia"
By: Thuyen Nguyen

Al doesn't know why his cousin Sally would pay for his trip home, but he readily accepts. Little does he know though that she's secretly entered him into the King of Game Trivia Tournament and expects him to score the ten-thousand dollar grand prize. Unprepared for competition, can Al do what it takes to win while keeping sane of Sally's demands at the same time?

THE KING OF GAME TRIVIA is a story by a gamer for gamers. Stuffed with so many references to the world of video games, you'll be lost and confused if you don't know your Nintendo from your Sega. And with actual trivia questions peppered throughout, even hardcore players will be tested and entertained by this fun-filled and unique journey into gaming culture.

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Amazon: http://amzn.to/1kXCRWs

Kindle Spotlight: "The Adventures of Bob: To Doodledip for Soup!"

"The Adventures of Bob: To Doodledip for Soup!"
By: Ryan Shea

What do you get when a man is invited to a strange purple and green planet by a tiny speed-freak robot, a construction-cone-wearing king, a really bad bowl of soup, and a fat purple servant cat that doesn't listen to anyone?

The Adventures of Bob: to Doodledip for Soup!

Find out what happens to Bob when he travels to Planet Doodledip for dinner with the King and discovers he is afraid to try the soup.

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Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Adventures-Bob-Ryan-Shea-ebook/dp/B00FM66GBE/

Author Interview with Aisha S. Perry: "9 Simple Recipes to Get that Guy"


A Conversation with Aisha S. Perry, Author of
"9 Simple Recipes to Get that Guy"


Featured Author, Aisha S. Perry
"9 Simple Ways to Get that Guy"

 What made you write "9 Simple Recipes to get that guy"?
I love to have girl talk with friends and family and what do ladies usually talk about? Men and food. Oh yeah, the chicks at work that they hate.

Do you ever experience writer's block, and how do you overcome it?
Yes, I experienced it quite a few times. I simply walked away from the project for a while. An hour, a day, a week, however long it took.

What advice would you give to aspiring writers?
I would say to believe in you. Push yourself. Yes you will have people in your corner in most cases, but you must be your own cheerleader. No matter who thinks you can, if you don’t think you can, you won’t.

How do you market your work? Are some avenues more successful than others?
The book has been featured on a few different blogs. I also have a FB page (Simple 9 Books), and I’m on Twitter under https://www.twitter.com/simple9books.

Since your book is a cookbook, if it was made into a movie, what type of movie would it be?
Definitely a chick flick. A comedy about a single girl that’s not so lucky in love, and a married older sister that gives her advice.

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About the Author:
Aisha S. Perry was born in 1979 in Detroit MI. She attended Henry Ford High School and Central Michigan University where she studied Public Administration. In 2008 Aisha moved from Michigan to Texas where she met and married her husband. 3 years later they had one child together. Aisha has been writing for well over 20 years, but rarely shared her work with others. With the support and insistence of her husband in 2013 on her 34th birthday her first book was published.

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For More Info:
Facebook: http://on.fb.me/1aaAqgb
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/simple9books
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BUY THE BOOK:
Amazon: http://amzn.to/17B8I7N

Author Interview with E.M. Bryant: "Two Screws"


A Conversation with E.M. Bryant
Author of "Two Screws"


Why is “Two Screws” garnering attention?
It’s a short story that embodies a lot of what people want—it’s dark, it’s funny, it’s sexy, and there’s a twist at the end. Oh, and it’s only 99 cents!

Where did this story come from?
I usually write paranormal romances, but short stories about eccentric individuals are a lot of fun! And readers pressed for time who just need a quick escape are turning more and more to fun and spicy little reads!

Speaking of eccentric individuals, the characters in “Two Screws”—particularly Keaton, Victoria, and Dezi—are all definitely…a little off. Do you have a favorite?
Keaton was fun to write. He’s a womanizer, he’s Rupert’s protector, and he generally puts up with a lot. BUT, he’s also complex in that he’s sort of lost. Rupert was born into a rich life. Keaton was orphaned. And Keaton, of course, finds love in the wrong place with Victoria, which makes the ending all the more heartbreaking. But all in all, despite the dark tones of the plot, I tried to make sure everybody had a forgiving human quality. No bad guys—just some bad decisions and crazy antics!

It is a complicated story. In a nutshell, what can readers expect from “Two Screws”?
“Two Screws” is a short story—it will always be 99 cents on Amazon to download. It’s a quick read. It opens with Rupert Temmler’s mother confessing to a grisly crime. He’s not sure she’s telling the truth or not, but it definitely rattles his world. From that opening page, the story begins to unfold through the eyes of various characters—Rupert himself, Keaton (Rupert’s best friend), Dezi (Rupert’s wife), and Victoria (Rupert’s mother). They are all a little bit crazy!

Rupert is a brooder who likes routine, which makes his mother’s confession all the more agonizing for him. Keaton is the sexy best friend who battles his own demons. Dezi is Rupert’s profoundly immature wife, and Victoria struggles being the balancing board for all three—if only she wasn’t hiding her own secret.


Synopsis:
"Two Screws"
By E.M. Bryant

A gruesome confession, a nasty betrayal, and a shocking twist highlight this quiet short story.

Victoria and Rupert Temmler have an unusual mother/son relationship. With only 16 years between them, Rupert and his mother enjoy a fairy-tale life of carefree privilege, courtesy of the Temmler dynasty. A deep bond forged in friendship and partnership keeps the dynasty thriving and the pocketbooks fat.

But when Victoria falls ill, she tells Rupert a grisly tale of how she procured him as her son. Shocked and enraged, Rupert leans on his oldest friend, Keaton, who tries desperately to shield Rupert from his own dark secret. As the last fragile threads of deceit finally whittle away, Rupert is left with two unfathomable truths, and one very uncertain future.

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About the Author:
E.M. Bryant is a writer who hails from Southeast Missouri. She has a background in literature, and a passion for Medieval and American Folklore. An interest in the paranormal sparked Bryant to begin writing a trilogy involving all of these elements. Her first book, Rapture, was published in March 2013 via Xlibris Corporation, and has received favorable reviews. Bryant's second full-length book, Awake, is scheduled to debut late summer 2013.

Raised in the Bible Belt, her stories often reference religious topics, paying special attention to subjects like predestination and sexuality. Controversial, perverse, and witty, Bryant's writing aims to target, frighten, and seduce the reader.

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For More Info:
Website: http://darkanddirtybooks.com/
Amazon Author Page: http://amzn.to/14w5S2U


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Amazon: http://amzn.to/19rJ7Wp

Official Book Video Trailer for "The Sext Crime (C.Y.A.: Covert Youth Agency)," by Jason Ancona


"The Sext Crime (C.Y.A.: Covert Youth Agency)"
By Jason Ancona

SNAP--a girl sexts racy pics of herself. 
She thought the fun shots would stay between her and her boyfriend.

SNAP--an anonymous hacker hijacks her photos. 
If she doesn't obey, she'll be exposed.

SNAP--the Covert Youth Agency takes the girl's case. 
The agents jump headfirst into Operation: Sext Crime. Their new client has less than a week to surrender to the hacker's ultimatum. Or else the naughty photos go "wide."

SEND--a goon squad closes in on C.Y.A. members. 
Agent identities may be unmasked.

REPLY ALL--end communication. 
It's not safe.

WARNING--this book contains NO explicit sexual content. 
Material suitable for ages 12 and above. May contain some humor.

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Official Book Video Trailer: "The Sext Crime (C.Y.A.: Covert Youth Agency)"
By Jason Ancona


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About Jason Ancona:
​Freakishly nerdy in high school, Jason became a certifiable weakling when he lost an arm-wrestling match to a female cheerleader in class. ​

Never a participant in school activities, he fantasized about being someone else--an athlete, a secret agent, or whatever character he created in the latest role-playing-game.

His imaginary worlds didn't help in the dating department, but they sure were fun to explore.

Born and raised in the Chicago burbs, Jason tended to his father's gigantic garden--​shoveling mulch and steamrolling the rototiller. In 1999, he fled the cold to live in Los Angeles, where he penned screenplays and TV scripts for nearly a decade. ​

In July of 2011, Jason moved to Austin, Texas knowing no one, ready to start his "Second Act Twist" in life.

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FOR MORE INFO:
Website: www.covertyouthagency.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/CYAgent

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Kindle Spotlight: Red Hot Love: How to Get Along with Your Significant Other, by Mark Vincent Lincir

"Red Hot Love: How to Get Along with Your Significant Other", by Mark Vincent Lincir

A humorous, honest and heart-felt look at what it takes to maintain your relationship. Covering topics as painful as apologizing, listening and communicating to critical subjects like sex and vacations.

It’s not just a “how-to” guide; it’s chalk-full of examples of what has worked and what hasn’t in the author’s two decades in a relationship.

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BUY THE BOOK: http://amzn.to/19aZ7Iu


Official Book Video: Dark Chatter, by Andrew Branch



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Synopsis
The boy's answer to Lena Dunham's Girls?

This biting comedy of manners follows an aimless college graduate from underemployment to acidental porn stardom. Along the way, Peter (a.k.a. Quicklime) acquires a knowledge of the American class system and a delicately located tattoo of the words "This Machine Kills Fascists..."

Read Dark Chatter, and never get another woody without thinking of Guthrie.

Read Dark Chatter, and feel better about what you do on the internet:

"When you think about porn in [Supreme Court Justice] Potter Stewart's terms it becomes a generational emblem; "I know it when I see it" is a twenty-something's attitude to planning a career."

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About the Author
Andrew Branch teaches French at Columbia University. Prior to graduate school, he worked at the New York Review of Books. His novel "Dark Chatter" was published by Grappling Book in 2013.




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FOR MORE INFO
Website: http://grappling-book.com/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/A_R_Branch

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BUY THE BOOK
Amazon: http://amzn.to/10hvOOw